Surviving Christmas, Trophy Wife and Shit Like That...

Christmas is finally over. I know for some people Christmas is this magical bullshit time of year, but my family is a ball of stress that makes Christmas damn near unbearable. However, here are some lovely fucking things from my holiday because things.

Twas the night before Christmas (Eve) and all through the Olive Garden I stumbled after this strong ass margarita. 

The next day was Christmas Eve, wherein my mom's side of the family gets together and pretends they don't hate each other for a day. Oh, we also eat. And eat. And eat. And then we eat.

No. Seriously. 

Then on Christmas Eve, I looked like this. Cool shot. Not really. 

These two hung out. Good for them, ya know?

And then, as it always does, Christmas Day brought me the cold I inevitably found on Christmas Eve.

I got some things because I was good all year, jerks.

The next day, I put clothes on and went shopping. When I did it, I looked like this, only less stupid maybe.

I hung out with my mom and had a time.

Then once my mom and I got on each others' nerves, it was time for me to go home.

When I got home, I decided to not be a fucking hermit and go out and do some stuff. Mostly wait for buses.

Yes, I'll have one.

Yes, I'll have one. Just one.

A journey to Barnes & Noble for the last two seasons of The Golden Girls they no longer had led me to this:

Which just sounds like hardcore masturbatory training to me.

And on my journey home from the day's adventures...

....a man whose love of Angry Birds is only matched by his love of dental hygiene. 

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In other news, I've been discovering that I am starting to like television again. I accidentally caught the Christmas episode of Trophy Wife on ABC. I fell in love immediately. First, it has Marcia Gay Harden, who I have had the biggest girlcrush on since I was probably fourteen years old. 

No, like, seriously. Look at her.

Anyhow, after being initially hooked by the queen that is MGH, I actually gave the show a chance and I fell in love with it. It's very, very funny. The title gives the impression that it's another sexist, tits bouncing for the guy bullshit bag of dicks sitcom, but it's really not at all. It's smart and sweet and really funny. So much so that I really adore Michaela Watkins after having spent so many dislike dollars on her during her time on SNL. If you haven't seen it yet, see it. (Tuesdays at 930/830 central on ABC)

Alright, this is too long.

Go fuck yourselves.