Gay 101

With the demise of DOMA and Prop 8 today, I've been trolling a lot of the news Facebook posts and squashing the hateful hopes of those opposed to gay marriage. So I thought it might be a cathartic move to make a blog post.

I want to preface this post by saying that I'm what's known as a "gay ally". I'm a mostly straight female. I've dabbled in the lady sexuals and I'm not opposed to it, but my primary attraction is to men. Kristen Wiig is always the exception to that rule.. but I digress.

I grew up in a primarily liberal household. Nothing extreme, but liberal nonetheless. I grew up saying things like "that's gay" and "what a fag". My first gay friend and I went to high school together. His name was Bob and I remember when he came out to me. I didn't have a reaction. I always kind of suspected. It wasn't a big deal. My second gay friend I met at a different high school. Since, I've had numerous gay friends. However, I don't consider them my "gay friends". They're my friends. They don't do friendship differently because they're gay. Also, before I left high school, I retrained my brain to stop saying "that's gay" and I haven't used the word "fag" or any incarnation of it for YEARS. That rhetoric is unacceptable.

Now, I'm going to do a few things. I'm going to bust some stereotypes and tell you some facts about homosexuality.

- Teaching homosexuality does not create or promote homosexuality. The only thing it promotes is equality. Teaching children that regardless of who you find attractive, you're still a valid human being and you're no different than anyone else.
- Homosexuality is not a choice. If you believe that it is, I want you to pinpoint the moment you chose to be heterosexual in detail. The odds are real good, as in there's a 99.999999% chance, that you did not choose it.
- Not all homosexuals are in love with you, so get over yourself. Listen, Karen, just because the woman sitting next to you at the bar just openly stated she's a lesbian, that doesn't mean that she's interested in you sexually... It just means you're both presumptuous and ignorant.
- Homosexuality is present in most species. We are the only species that rejects it.
- Religion and homosexuality are two very different animals. I respect your right to be Catholic, Christian, Baptist, Buddhist, Atheist, whatever you are. One of the perks of living in this country is a freedom to belong to whatever religion we so choose. However, when the subject of "gay marriage" comes up, somehow the first hat thrown in the proverbial ring is the bible. If you firmly believe the strongest point in the bible is that homosexuals are sinful and should not marry, then you have not read the bible. I was raised Catholic and became Agnostic at 18. Never was this an issue for me and it was barely addressed in our bible studies growing up. You know what was addressed? One of the central focuses of what is supposed to be the bible's message; treating others as you would like to be treated. Apparently many of "god's children" wish to be treated with outright prejudice and hate.  Please, for the love of your god, the next time you're trying to use religion as an excuse for your fear and ignorance toward homosexuality, realize that we are not all of your same creed. And even if you see that as unacceptable, it is not your place to tell other people how they can or cannot live. You cannot make choices for other people in the name of god. Perhaps instead of trying to denounce gay marriage, do something good for your community. Do something with a charity. Do something productive. I think anyone's god would want that over persecuting innocent people for who they love.
- Beastiality and homosexuality are not the same. Using that comparison is not only petulant, but it makes you look like an outright idiot. People that fuck horses are committing a form of rape. Homosexuals have safe, intimate, CONSENSUAL sexual relationships. Just STOP. No one is going to be impressed with this argument. They are just going to feel sad that you think this is a legitimate argument.

Homosexuality is natural. It's natural because it happens in nature. In all forms of nature. It has for years upon years. There's no denying that.

I hope one day we can live in a country more open-minded and willing to accept those who lead different lives and harm no one in the process.

I Miss Her Old Face

As I scroll through my Tumblr dash this morning, I come across a very recent photo of Courteney Cox. The first words out of my mouth were "I miss her old face". Then I realized, I say that a lot. And what does that say about women in Hollywood and therefore our society today?

Look, we're all born with something fucked up about us. We just are. That's life. I have a lot of those things, but would I actually go get work done to fix them? Probably not.

There was nothing fucked up about Courteney Cox's face. She was beautiful. She was my very first girl crush. I remember the day FRIENDS started back in '94 and I watched it religiously every Thursday. Courteney was my everything. The only thing she's trying to hide her formerly flawless face from is age. Age is something that seems to terrify women and men alike. Why? You know if you get that botox you're still going to be 50 years old right? You know if you buy that Jag you're still the same 52 year old man with a big car payment right?

Now, this is in no way a personal attack on Courteney Cox. While I hate Cougar Town and I think it kind of embodies a lot of what I hate about our society, I still adore Courteney. I think she's funny and adorable and I love her to bits. And there are many people guilty of this, not just her. Lindsay Lohan, who is my age (27) has had what appear to be cheek implants and collagen in her lips. WHY?! I mean, Lohan has a whole host of other problems, but does she really think that looks right? She was gorgeous before. (Also note - Bruce Jenner, Barry Manilow, Lisa Rinna (sp?), etc)

I would estimate 85% of all plastic surgeries to stem from fear. Fear of age, fear of rejection, fear of not being the most attractive. And while men are not immune to this, my concern here is for women.

So I just want to say the following...

Personally, I think plastic surgery to a degree that makes your face nearly unrecognizable is setting women back a bit. Age happens, ladies. We're all gonna get old. But if you take care of yourself and accept the fact that aging is a part of life, your care and confidence will allow you to age gracefully. Who are you getting this surgery for? Is it because you really cannot stand the way you look or is it because you're afraid of what other people will say about how you look? Reflect in and think about it. If you like the way collagen looks in your lips and it makes you comfortable and confident.. then great. But if you like the way collagen looks in your lips because men/women take notice.. you're setting your gender back. If you want to fuck with your face to please yourself, do it. I say fucking go for it. Give yourself a new face. But don't do it for someone else.

You're beautiful as you are no matter what anyone says. It's okay not to feel beautiful and it's okay to have to work your ass off to be what you feel is beautiful. But don't be someone else's version of beautiful.. because then you're living for someone else. Live for you.

Sorry this was more of a serious post today, but it's something that's been kind of bugging me lately.

Boobies.

Things I Fucking Love (pt. 1)

In an attempt to start blogging and vlogging more often, I'm trying to put down a sort of schedule for myself in an effort to be somewhat consistent. That said, I've dubbed Sunday "Things I Fucking Love" day, wherein I will tell you about things/products/foods/stuff/junk I fucking love as of now. So here is this week's Things I Fucking Love...

Coconut Oil
As a human with a number of stupid skin problems and hair that commits suicide all the time, I absolutely adore Coconut Oil. There's really not much you cannot use Coconut Oil for. It's an oil treatment for your hair, it's fucking great for your skin, it's a makeup remover, it's a sunscreen, it heals bacterial infections, it fades bruises. And that's just topical! You can also eat this magnificent stuff! It doesn't taste very good, but it's fucking phenomenal for the immune system, it works wonders on your skin and it also is an appetite suppressant. It has to be virgin and it has to be organic. There's a "that's what he/she said" joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find it. So go click up there where it says "Coconut Oil". No, not that one. The other one. The other one. The FIRST one! There ya go.

Black Cherry Rum
If you are of legal drinking age, or if you are not - your life choices are none of my business - get your filthy mitts on a bottle of Cruzan Black Cherry Rum and a 2L of Diet Pepsi. Add ice and good god, it's a Wild Cherry Pepsi that will fuck you up!

Bill Hader!
It wouldn't be a day if the day didn't involve something about Saturday Night Live. This week, Bill Hader is on the list of things I love. Homeboy celebrated his 35th birthday on the 7th and will of course no longer be on SNL. So let's just celebrate his face. And sweater choices. Herb Welch lives!

Improvisation
As an improviser, I fucking love improvising! It's that simple. If you've never seen improv, do yourself a favor and find the nearest venue! You can find a Second City in Chicago, Toronto and Hollywood. Or there's always UCB NY or The Groundlings. And certainly there are smaller, lesser known theatres with improvised shows as well.

Toddlers and Tiaras
I want to preface this one by saying that I fucking hate reality tv.. but somehow T&T always sucks me in. The parents are usually awful people and the concept of pageants makes me sick.. but it's like a trainwreck I cannot get enough of.

Simple Skin Products
I have very angry, very sensitive skin. I have a little bit of an obsession with skin products because I like to experiment and see which ones work and what they do, consumerism blah blah blah. My friend told me about Simple skin wash and I tried it and I fell in love with it. Fucking in love with it. And every skincare product I've bought from them has been amazing. I recommend the face wash, the exfoliating cloths, the toner and the moisturizer. They're only a little bit pricey, but they're worth it.

Alright, idiots. That's all of my things I fucking love for today.
Have a stellar Sunday, kittens.

Perez Hilton, Amanda Bynes, Kardashians and all the other worst things America has to offer...

I want to preface this blog post by saying that I have a love/hate relationship with celebrities and pop culture. There are a few celebrities whose lives I'm interested in. Not deeply invested, but just slightly interested in.

That being said, in this weirdass, beyond voyeuristic society we live in, there is a very fine line between stalking and "paparazzi", between "a source tells us" and outright slander. And while celebrities really deserve no pity for the life they are handed to play pretend and other people to watch, I have to say that over the past few years I've begun to feel sympathy for a lot of them.

The trigger pulled on this blog post is of course the saga that is Amanda Bynes. I don't know where I stand on Amanda Bynes. Not that it matters where I stand. I don't know her. I will never know her. Her daily life is no concern of mine.

She may be perfectly fine. She may only smoke tobacco and never drink. She may have been set up for a DUI. She may have only thrown a vase out a window. A NY cop may have sexually assaulted her. But because the powers that be are the media, we may never know which is the truth.

Now, does it appear as if she's fine? No. She's showing signs of a potential mental illness. Possibly schizophrenia or severe bipolar disorder. Or is that just what the media wants us to see?

This unanswerable question brings me to my next question...

Who are these "sources"?

I have to be honest when I say that if I read a magazine article or a blog post and the sentence begins or ends with "A source close to XYZ says..", "a source said" or anything where the source is unnamed, I immediately discredit the article or blog post and stop reading right there. Because to be honest, if you cannot name your source and it is not a report on some underground political mishap or something, I don't buy it.  You made that shit up and there's no one to say you did not. Period.

Now how does this all tie in to Perez Hilton specifically?

Aside from Perez being the master of the unnamed source articles, he's also an enormous hypocrite. A while back when he vowed to stop bullying celebrities in the name of blog, I immediately gained some respect for him. I never really cared for Perez, but his site always did bring in the best celebrity gossip. Plus his website was easier to navigate than TMZ's. So, honestly, it came down to laziness for me.

But recently, he's sort of going back to his old ways. He preaches all day long about being a good person and being a healthy person. Health also includes mental health. If you're trying to tell people to be better people and to practice good health, wouldn't it be prudent to lead by example?

That aside, in the case of Ms. Bynes specifically, Perez found it necessary to begin harassing her. On her sprees of calling people ugly, he got thrown in there. Upon my own mini investigation, I noticed that this was because he was harassing her on twitter. Trying to get a rise out of her. Trying to make her lash out so he could screen cap it, put it on his blog and cry victim. Mind you, this is someone he maintains was his "friend". He's harassing his alleged "friend", who has the potential to be mentally ill to get her to lash out at him in the name of a juicy blog post. To me that's just out and out harassment.

Personally, I don't give a shit about Amanda Bynes. It's a shame to see someone in a downward spiral, but I don't know what goes on in her life. None of us see it. She very well may be happy and healthy. And I certainly don't give a shit about Perez Hilton. I think he's an obnoxious jackass who loves attention. But I do care when people become spiteful hypocrites toward those who can't defend themselves.

This is what America is now. And I fucking hate those Kardashians. Why do you care?! They're not even interesting! I'd rather listen to Kathleen Turner and Fran Drescher have orgasms in surround sound for a week straight than listen to any of the Kardashians talk for thirty seconds. If you smashed all their IQs together you'd get a total of cheesecake. Bruce Jenner's face looks like a vagina.

Which is gonna kill us faster; deep frying stuff or GMOs?

Channing Tatum looks like a monkey.

This blog is getting out of hand.

I think I've made my point?