Sometimes in life, though it's tough to accept, we have to let go of friends. I'm facing that time right now and I thought I'd share the tips I've given to myself in dealing with it.
Step one - Accept the fact that their change, regardless of what it is, is THEIR change. When you change outside of someone else, you are the only one changing. You don't bring people with you. And that is what is happening. Your friend has changed in some way and isn't bringing you along for the ride.
Step two - Don't dwell. I found it very easy to dwell on the friendship we had. We were close. Sisters. I'd only felt so comfortable with another friend once in my life. I miss the closeness; having someone to talk to constantly. Now that things are different, it's not the same and it will never be the same. So it's important not to dwell on the memories.
Step three - Look at the relationship, or what's left of it, and if ultimately you're being hurt more than anything, it's time for that friendship to see its last day. True friends don't hurt you on purpose. True friends don't hurt you repeatedly on accident. True friends are friends. If in the end, it hurts more than it heals, it's time to say goodbye.
Step four - Say goodbye. This is the part that's coming in the next couple of weeks. I'm an all or nothing kind of person. And if I'm not important enough to be in your life, except the rare occasion when you pencil me in, I'm taking the "nothing".
Step five - Look to your other friends, the real ones, to fill the void that friend once did. This is not an excuse for co-dependence, but rather an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. These are basic friend principles that shouldn't need to be said, and hopefully the rest of your friends are as understanding as mine.
No comments:
Post a Comment