Today's Random Brainleak...

I have a love for cheese, but choose to eat the vegan substitutes.

House plants freak me the fuck out.

Coffee turns me into a hyper freak.

I have never seen The Notebook.

I often make up songs about "putting on my whore face" to songs that already exist while I get ready for a night out. One day I'll film it.. cause it's really funny. To me, anyway. Last time it was a Meet Me in St. Louis medley. Wish I'd gotten that one on film.

I get bored with a season after a month. Needless to say, I'm ready for fall.

I will kick ANYONE'S ass in MarioKart.

I only kill hookers in GTA.

I like to get high and play Silent Hill.. cause it's scary, which in turn is fucking hilarious.

I like to get high in general.

I don't as often as I'd like.

My dog gets mad when I leave.

My liver gets mad when I drink too much.

You can imagine we fight a lot.

The day they figure out how to make cigarettes not kill you, I will smoke a whole pack.

I can tap dance.

There's no filter from my brain to my mouth.

My car needs an oil change.

I love to go camping in the summer.

If tattoos were erasable, I'd get a hundred of 'em. And then erase 'em all. America!

I speak (almost) fluent French. I guess that'd be "conversational" French.

When I was younger, I'd read a novel and then read it backwards. Sounds weird. It is weird.

I'm ridiculously punctual.. except when I go to work. I'm always fifteen minutes late.

I despise bad manners.

When I was four, I punched my cousin's friend in the face because she was yelling at me to get off the slide.

I only really talk to a handful of people from high school.

I went to two high schools because I got pulled out of the first one.. for.. well, for my behavior. Let's just say that.

I moved to New York by myself when I was 20. 

I moved back to Chicago when I was 21 because I ran out of money and my roommate was bleeding me dry.

I firmly believe in fate and signs and the like.

Pants suck.

Being the Count from Sesame Street must be SO cool.

I want to ride a brontosaurus.

There's no greater joy to me than making someone who is truly funny themselves laugh really hard.

The Kids in the Hall need to fucking tour again. STAT.

I need a PS3.

Or a 360.

Or a banana.

Or a bottle of Jack.

Or to shut the fuck up.