So, anyone with a face knows about Fifty Shades of Grey by now, right? I mean, even the bath salt guy's naked Miami dinner guest and the guard surrounding Hannibal Lecter's prison cage know about what's being referred to as "mommy porn".
Let me tell you why I LOVED FSoG... (potential spoilers ahoy - character driven, not really plot-driven)
- The sexual tension in the first few chapters is absolutely palpable. You know what kind of book you're reading and you're like "Hey. Will you two get to fucking already so I can have some ammo for the cannon please?". And eventually they do.
- The underlying story of why Christian Grey is so fucked up constantly leaves you wanting more. Tidbits of information followed by huge romantic gestures or sexual encounters keep the story going in a really great and a really delicious way.
- This book doesn't remind me of anything and I love that. I'm not making this book into another book I've read. The characters are also pretty relatable, which is nice in a book with some broad content.
- I have no picture in my head of who Ana Steele or Christian Grey are. They have no image in my mind. It's like they're blurry. And normally I'd be incredibly frustrated by that, but I kind of enjoy it.
- This book is an easy read. There's no fancy intricacies or lines to read between. It's a story held together by a lot of fucked up situations, a lot of sweet romantic moments and a LOT of a sex.
- It's easy to masturbate to. I assume. I haven't used it as ammo, but I'd be a liar if I said I wouldn't let Christian Grey fuck me four ways from Sunday, if I'm not being too subtle.
Honestly, my only hope is that they do NOT turn this into a movie. I know Hollywood will because the rights have already been sold and it's like not bothering to cash in on a gold mine, but there's something sacred about the book (and not just for this particular book. for all book to movie transitions!). Movies typically ruin how things looked in your head.
Plus, why don't they just bring David Duchovny out of Californication for a day to do the Red Shoe Diaries version of Fifty Shades of Grey? I mean, that's really all it would end up being is softcore porn.
Except for the flogging.
Laters, baby.
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