Birthday Week (Day 7)

WELP.

It's officially my birthday week. This Saturday I will be turning twenty fucking eight years old. I'm not a big birthday person. I don't like to shove it down peoples' throats when my birthday is a-comin'. I get excited for the hanging out with friends and getting drunk aspect of birthdays in your twenties, but that's about it. Celebrating another year in which I did not die seems a little sketchy to me.

So, I thought with my twenty seventh year coming to a close, I'd share a little something I've learned in the past year every day this week.

So here we go.

#7 - You're Stronger Than You Think You Are


I pride myself on being a strong human being. More emotionally than physically. However, in some areas, I'm needy and I fall apart when abandoned. Hashtag daddy issues! This year I was sort of abandoned by someone who I was very close to. And in that time, I was flushed with an overwhelming - literally overwhelming - anxiety. I woke up and I felt it. I went to work and I felt it. I came home and I felt it. It wouldn't go away. I couldn't figure out where this shit was coming from. Nothing took it away except for endless episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't know why. Don't ask.

But then it hit me. I was lonely. I missed my friend. We went from seeing each other constantly to not seeing each other at all. And I realized that I'd become so dependent on what I thought was a reliable friendship that, much like in a regular relationship, I'd kind of forgotten how to TRULY be alone.

So when I realized my problem, I took to myself. I started focusing on me. How to make me better. How to be happy on my own. And in doing so, I made new friends and essentially started a new life.

So, even when you don't know your weakness, when it becomes apparent, I've learned that you can strengthen. You are your problem and you are your solution.