Yes, you're luck! It's another edition of Fifty Shades of Shut the Fuck Up, Jeshface!
Now, imdb.com has it listed that a Fifty Shades movie is in the works and everyone who actually liked the book and wants to see it made into a film (I fall into the former category, but not the latter), is debating who should play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Sidenote: Every time I type the name "Anastasia Steele", I feel like I'm writing the world's most awful literary pornography.
But I digress.
Personally, I think they should leave the books alone. Christian Grey looks different to a lot of different people and putting a permanent face on him would take away the fantasy aspect for a lot of people. Clearly it took me months to realize I saw him as a live-action Sterling Archer.
But because we must capitalize on EVERYTHING in this country, here's what I think they should do when they inevitably make this into a film..
They don't cast Matt Bomer or Ian Somerholder or any of these other Hollywood pretty boys I've never heard of. They don't cast Alexis Bledel or Emma Watson. They cast COMPLETE unknowns. First time big budget movie. It's a clean slate, no preconceived notions, no bias, no immediate turn off because of casting.
And here's the catch; You market the film with complete anonymity. No cast list. No face visuals in the trailers and tv spots. You will not see Christian and Ana until you pay whatever obscene amount your theater charges to sit down and see the film yourself.
BOOM. Brilliance.
Fifty Shades of Grey just made $500,000 more than anticipated.
Laters, baby.
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