Things You Need to Stop Saying

Do you ever fantasize about telling that one friend of yours to just "STOP SAYING THINGS!"? Do your nieces and nephews sound like a dumbed down version of Pretty Little Liars? Do you wish you could punch Merriam Webster in the face for the things we've let into its pages? Well, if you said yes to any of this, there's a good chance people in your life are saying a bunch of things that could really stand to get the hell out of our society's vernacular. Let's get rid of some.

Be jealous.
This is a phrase coined by people who are doing something they feel is cool. If they're out doing something they enjoy, they will surely post about it on some social media platform and then immediately demand that you be jealous. Why? What if I have absolutely no interest in cross-stitching the PBR logo onto a throw pillow and am therefore not in any way jealous? What if I don't like the beach because I'm allergic to sand and am therefore not in any way jealous? Jealousy is for children and suspicious girlfriends. If you want me to take an interest in the thing you're showing me, just show it to me.
If I'm jealous, that means my life is missing a key element that is keeping me from being totally happy. This is what you want from me?! Some friend you are.

Or nah.
This is a phrase on which I've only recently been hipped to the jive. This one astounds me. Sometimes shortening words like "totally" to "totes" happens -- and while I hate that too, it's more acceptable in my brain because it's shortening the word down. "Or nah" is saying "or not", only as if you'd just had a stroke this week. I'm sorry, what is wrong with using a full word or a correct word? Is "or not" really that much harder or uncool to say than "or nah". Maybe instead of "what do you think?", I'll start saying "what do youthahhh?".
So fucking cool. And look at all that time I saved.

Complaints.
This isn't so much words themselves as it is what this represents. I adore most of my friends with whom I share a social media relationship. However, many of said friends only use their social media platforms to complain. And I mean COMPLAIN.
Ow, my foot hurts. Aw, man, a book fell over. It seems like there's traffic all the time. I lost a piece of paper I was writing on a week ago. Oh no, I'm missing a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. My cream soda is flat. I had to wait in a line today.
Like, literally, anything that can be complained about is complained about. It's always petty stuff and it's always obnoxious.
I try my hardest as a human being with no super serious problems in life to not complain about petty or serious things. My life will never be worse than some other peoples' lives. I don't have the right to complain. Sure, things fucking suck sometimes, but complaining about every single one of those things makes you seem like you can't handle anything at all and that you're going to whine about it every step of the way. If you look back on your social media platforms and see that maybe you've been complaining a lot lately, take a moment a consider buying a diary. Just remember, negativity breeds negativity.
Because frankly, I'm sure the rest of your friends feel the same way I do. I just have the balls to say it in an open, incredibly vague forum.

Am I a hypocrite because I've spent this entire blog complaining? Of course not. This is my blog.

Now if you'll excuse me, my cream soda's going flat.

IF you haven't been keeping up with my VEDA, well, neither have I... but I'm all caught up now, so feel free to check 'em all out and subscribe for more weird whenever I feel like it.

Also, one week from today there's going to be a big announcement on the channel and probably here as well. Big, big, big.

Enjoy your Wednesday. Go hump something, whydon'tchya?