So, I often reflect upon the choices my friends and family make and think about what I would do in the same situation.. "putting myself in their shoes", as they say. Whoever "they" is. Are. Whoever "they" are. Right? Whatever.
Whilst thinking of this, I realize that in my life, I take nothing as seriously as I probably should. OR... perhaps some people take things TOO seriously.
In my opinion, life is a series of black and white situations... Sure, there are some times where there is a gray area and there's no getting around that. But I think for the most part, things are pretty black and white... especially if you're a racist.
So, I thought I'd share with you (both) some of the guidelines by which I live my life...
1 - Karma is a real thing. I've fucked some shit up in the past and its come to get me. It doesn't necessarily mean I stopped doing what I was doing, but I'm very aware of the power of Karma. So be good to others or you're due for a swift kick in the ass.
2 - Say what you're thinking with no remorse. That's not to say you walk up to your boyfriend and say "hey, man, you got a tiny dick." or anything like that. But if something's burning in your chest (first of all, reconsider your spicy food intake) and you need to say it, just say it. We only get one shot at this life, in theory, so take the chance and just say what you need to say.
3 - Do not regret. Someone who's been quoted as saying this and then was retweeted a shit ton of times on Twitter once said "Don't regret anything, because at one time you wanted it" or some such shit. I don't know, I'm paraphrasing now and I'm way too lazy to look up who said it. Either way, I think you get the gist. I never feel regret because I always do with intention. If I want something, I go get it.
4 - I'm gonna quote again. This time from 10 Things I Hate About You... "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want." (Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace..) Allowing your insecurities to inhibit you and keep you from what you deserve is no way to live life!
5 - Don't pick fights with someone who is (a) bigger than you, (b) faster than you, (c) a cop, (d) wearing rings or (e) way more drunk than you/on coke.
6 - If you go to a friend's apartment for a party, don't intentionally trash the place. And if you stay over, maybe help clean up the next day. That's just good manners. Cause they probably have a noise complaint or two comin' their way... and one of their other guests probably broke some of their shit.
7 - When you're wrong, just admit it and save us all the trouble of wanting to punt you across the room.
8 - A well-timed movie, pop culture or literary reference can go a long way... but when no one gets it, try really hard not to get mad. Everyone will remember that.
9 - Try and pick up at least a little bit of a new language. Then Americans maybe might seem just a tad less ignorant!
10 - If you can't drive over 75MPH on the expressway (at least in Illinois), get the FUCK out of the left lane.
Alright, that's all the wisdom I think I'm going to bestow upon you this evening. Take these golden plates and guard them with your life, my little Joseph Smiths.
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