1. - Liars. Why lie about things? Embellishments to a story are always obvious. For example: “So, I was driving down the road and I hit a bunny.. (panic! panic! story’s not taking off.. make it better, make it better.. oh! i know!) and then the bunny exploded and it was full of candy!”. If your story isn’t worth telling to begin with, you probably should just let it die on its own.
And if you’re lying about serious matters, then you just need to be shot in the face with a flare gun.
2. - People who don’t know how to properly use the left hand lane on the interstate. Here in ye olde Illinois, the far left lane is the FAST LANE. You can literally be pulled over for going TOO SLOW in said lane. WHICH MEANS, you need to be doing AT LEAST 70mph on a 65mph road! If you can’t handle the speed, get the fuck off the road or I’m gonna scrape you right off it!
3. - Ignorance of any sort. If you do not know what you are talking about, referencing or facts in general, you do not have the right to comment on things. Commenting on something blind is IGNORANCE. My main ignorance pet peeve is the hate against the LBGTQ community. But that will turn into a two week rant I’ll save for another time.
4. - “isms”. Racism, sexism, feminism (i’ll explain that another time), fascism, totalitarianism, and so on and so forth.
5. - People who lack common courtesy and MANNERS. This is a big one. In this self-absorbed, entitled country of ours, children are not being raised to have any kind of respect or manners. It’s disgusting. And why is this? I’ll tell you why this is. Because kids are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want, WHENEVER the fuck they want. When I was a kid, I was terrified to talk back to my mom. Cause you know what would happen if I did? I’d get a swift KICK IN THE ASS. But these days, kids have no fear of their parents because there’s no line between “discipline” and “abuse” these days. Discipline is now confused for abuse. Discipline is NOT abuse.. unless it’s abusive. Repetitive hitting, hitting for no reason, verbal take downs.. that’s abuse… And I’m not saying everyone from my generation and prior are all good people by any means, but I think the majority of us were taught manners and respect and the outcome of lacking in either.
6. - This one’s rather hypocritical of me, but vague facebook statuses/tweets. I think if it’s just a thought, then it’s okay, but when it’s like “I thought I could trust U but now I know I was an idiot” blah blah blah. Then it’s like, take a short walk into some oncoming traffic.
7. - Religion.. NOWADAYS. Religion used to be about faith. Now it’s more of a cult for people with hatred to spew to hide behind.
8. - Condescending people. I’d love to pistol whip them with a water gun so the plastic cuts their skin and they get a nasty face infection.
9. - Dramatic women. I would love to rearrange the faces of dramatic women everywhere. The ones that like scream when they see their friends, like “Ahhhh! Like omg! Joan’s here! Joaaaan! This is my soooong!”. Ugh. And then the one’s that go missing in a desperate attempt to make it known that they want to be found so you can feel bad for them and save them. “Like omg, have you seen Kelly? She’s been missing for like thirty minutes??? She’s probably dead! Kelly’s probably dead!” Kelly’s not dead. She just wants attention she never got at home and she has to make everyone she goes out with on a Saturday night pay for it. And then there’s the bad-time hot mess factory that is the ladies’ room in a club/bar. I’ve never yearned for a men’s bathroom so badly than in a club or bar at like 1am. Someone’s always thrown up on the floor, peed on the seat, torn all the toilet paper out of the dispenser, someone’s crying over someone that doesn’t love them anymore, someone’s drunk texting, there’s always water all over the sink and counter. CLASSY, ladies! Just classy. How the hell do you have time to make that mess?! Would you do that at your boyfriend/fuckbuddy’s apartment?! You’re gross. Get the fuck out of the bathroom and go find Kelly. Cause now she’s probably dead.
10. - Justin Bieber fans over the age of 18. I’m sorry, but this just upsets me. I’m not saying the little fucker doesn’t have talent. He’s not bad. (His music could use some sort of substance, but I digress..) He kind of talks like he’s black and dresses like a lesbian, but I can get past that. At the core of it, the kid has some talent. However, if I hear one more adult that doesn’t have kids who listen to Bieber say that he’s “adorable” or “a hottie”, I’m going to wretch. He’s a KID. It’s creepy. I dunno, to each his own, I guess.
And with that, I bid you adieu..
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