Nothing up my sleeve... PRESTO!

-I’m terrified of the 2012 election. If Roseanne Barr can make it on the ballot, I’d vote for her. You wish I was kidding, but I’m not.
-I made mention of IKEA in my first entry. I’m terrified of IKEA. It’s too big and I get lost every single time I’m there. I don’t want to shop in the Bermuda Triangle.
-Sometimes I drive my car on the highway and think.. “What if this whole fuckin’ thing just combusted? Would I be dead? How many cars would hit me before I was dead? How would you call the cops and explain you’re in the middle of three lane 65+ mph traffic? I guess it wouldn’t matter if I’d probably be dead.”
-I hate when there’s a bug in your room and you try and kill it and miss and then it goes MIA… Awful. Just awful.
-I hate women who fish for compliments. It’s always annoying and it’s always OBVIOUS.
-People who are cryptic and never really say what they need to say to me piss me off. If it’s good, if it’s bad, just let me hear it. I’d rather know what’s going on in your head, especially if it’s regarding me.
-I would legitimately date/bone a certain handful of my friends. I think people who DON’T think about having sex with at least ONE of their friends are weird.
-As of late, people like to pretend they’re “concerned” about my “drinking”. First of all, I drink just fine, thank you. Secondly, let me break down my heavy drinking schedule for you.. I drink on Thirsty Thursdays and then on Fridays. And that’s usually it. And please, don’t be concerned for me. I can take care of myself.
-I also hold the biggest double standard. I’m a strong human. I like to think I can do it all and handle any bullshit that comes my way. But there are times when I’m tired of being the strong one and the person who will do anything for people I care about .. because it’d be nice to get that in return. I know that’s a completely selfish thing to say and it shouldn’t be so, but it is. Just once, I’d like to be saved or have someone stand up for ME. But alas, I am too strong for my own good.
-I was born with the body of a woman and the mentality of a man.. sexually and otherwise.. And that’s honesty for ya.
-I feel like an annoying dog person when I talk about my dog at all.. but I love him to bits, so I don’t care.
-I’m a lot nicer than I, or anyone else, give(s) me credit for