This One's For You.

this man has a birthday right around the corner.

















if there's one thing this guy taught me, it was to approach life with a sense of humor and to never take anything too seriously.
he also taught me the best way to gross a person out is by putting salami in their shoes.
i've never met a man with the spirit and the patience he had.
he was my best bud and this photo is the best representation of our relationship.
he passed away just before i moved to new york city when i was 20. about to do so again and just passing the anniversary of his death, i am reminded of the last thing he said to me. the words i live by everyday of my life. "do everything you can when you're young, cause when you're old, ya can't do shit.".

the dad i never had. the best dad i ever had. the best grandfather a girl could ask for. miss you, pops.

Jam-a Da Day

Today's Jam of the Day is a live, lesser-known Barry Manilow jam called "In Search of Love". It seems to be sung in a different key than the album version. Do enjoy some 80s Manilow.

Anywhere But Here

From the moment I turned three years old, I knew I did not belong in Illinois. So much so that I started a "Get the Hell Out of Illinois Fund", that was literally a Nike shoebox with a sign that read as such when I was twelve. At twenty, at the demise of my attempt at a college career, I shipped myself off to NYC for a taste of whatever life had to offer. Looking back on my year of NY residency, I don't think I learned much except how much I loved New York City and how to hold my liquor..

When the money I was blowing at the theatre every week finally ran out, I moved back to Illinois with a little bit of relief and a lot of remorse. I've been here since. Though I periodically have visited New York and have entertained the idea of moving back, I got trapped by some things Illinois had to offer. Love - I fell in love and into a three year relationship. I actually remember uttering the words "I don't need New York when I've got him". Gross. Then I got trapped by friends and a great job after the relationship thing didn't work out. And after that, I found the thing that kind of filled in all the little cracks in my life. Except my ass crack and my crack habit. Improv. Comedy. Whatever. That's kept me in Chicago for the past year and a half. And now that I feel my time in Chicago's comedy community has come to an end, I'm returning to my first ever love; NYC.

With more of a life plan and less of a healthcare plan, I am definitely moving back to New York City in exactly two weeks. I'm not terrified, I'm not excited. It just feels like time. Time to work my life around a career I've only recently discovered I want to truly make work. Pun? Maybe.

So, with a move in place and hardly anything packed, my brain is more ready than my physical person.

But my brain's been in a very funny place lately. Not funny ha-ha. Funny like... whaaaaaaa?. I've started getting nostalgic for sensations. Not for moments or memories or people. Just sensations. I don't exactly know how to explain this, but I'll try to explain it in the dorkiest way possible.

Lately I've been listening to a lot of Barry Manilow. If you know me or you've been around for a while, you'll know that Manilow has been an indelible influence on my life. I'm not a musical person, nor do I have any aspirations to be. I just had a sometimes shitty childhood (who hasn't? not all of it. jeez.) and it was all aligned with a Manilow soundtrack. I guess I kind of hid in his music in a way. Not literally. You idiot.

So I've been listening to all this music lately and it's taking me to an almost uncomfortable and unidentifiable nostalgia. Though I love it, I'm feeling sad.

Maybe this is because I'm about to move away from all of my friends and family? Maybe this is because I'm stressed? Maybe the moon left an imprint in my face? Maybe I just need extensive therapy?

I don't know which of those it is, but it's really taking a wonderful/awful toll on me.

Anyway, I'm hanging out with my mom until after Memorial Day weekend, when the real packing will commence. If you'd like to see how the move is progressing, you're welcome to follow along on my YouTube channel where it's all going down. Actually the past few posts have just been a bit of babble, but I am chronicling this move through my subseries on YouTube, so if you're there so am I.

Oh look, a link that takes you directly to my channel in another window.

Technology is cool.
Just an update for your facepieces.
Something interesting next time, I promise.

Be well or don't.

Byeeee.

I Found a Frito in My Bed and Ate It

Today I had a revelation; I'm going to die alone.

As I sat in my bed having a one-sided conversation with my dog and watching Gilmore Girls on a Wednesday afternoon, I found a Frito on my bed. Without hesitation, I picked up that amorphous corn chip and put it in my mouth, fearlessly chomping away at its entirety. Granted, a bag of Fritos lay open on my bed at this moment, but the moment itself was eye-opening.

Who immediately eats food found in their bed? A person who's been single for almost four years and has no aspirations to become attached to anything but her remote.

Thus, I'm going to die alone.

It's time to stock up on Fritos.

"ABC Sucks!", Shouts the Petulant 28-Year-Old Child.

This week, to no surprise (thanks to the network, not the quality of the show) Trophy Wife was canceled.

As you well know, I have spent months and months trying to help save this brilliant, brilliant show and now that it's gone I feel a true sense of sadness. Sadness for an audience who will watch a man treat a group of women like objects until he finds his staged true love rather than watch an intelligent comedy with strong women at the core of the show. How many episodes of Dancing with the Stars do we need to suffer through each week before a show with heart and humor and wit can be given a chance in a proper time slot with proper marketing?

This whole situation only amplifies my theory that ABC has absolutely no idea how to run a network. I'm no expert, but here's how you run a network to get ratings...

1- Pick an appropriate time slot for that show. A lighthearted family comedy would do best earlier in the evening slots as a lead in to a bigger, more established comedy. For example, had Trophy Wife sat between The Middle and Modern Family, it's ratings would have been sky high. Putting it between The Goldbergs and that Sofia Vergara show about women who kill or some such nonsense at 8/9pm was not exactly setting the show up for success.

2- Market your shows properly. With a show like Trophy Wife -- an ironically named, comedy/familiy sitcom, putting content out about the show is not rocket science. I have to say, the cast and the fans did a better job of marketing the show than ABC's godawful publicity team did. Halfhearted tweets two minutes before the show starts IS NOT MARKETING THE SHOW. Giving a show a proper trailer and proper TV spots that don't paint it as the title without its irony would've also been beneficial. I'm pretty sure ABC execs had never even seen the show.

3- Stop relying on the Nielsen boxes! In this day and age, relying on Nielsen families for your ratings numbers seems kind of futile. In the age of the internet and DVR, 90% of people do not watch television shows when they are on. Also, to this day, I've never met anyone with a Nielsen box in their home. If you adhere to the DVR numbers, the Hulu views, the social media interest, you'll find that new media and technology far surpass the use of the Nielsen box. I think ABC would be surprised to find out that there were a lot more people watching Trophy Wife than their numbers produced.

4- Last but not least, GIVE A SHOW TIME. Two seasons minimum. Go back and watch any of your favorite sitcoms from the past decade. They all had fairly subpar pilots. It takes time for a show to take off and find its audience. This is why internet content will eventually take over old media. The internet gives an audience more time to grab hold of a web series or an entertainer's content and go back and catch up later without the interference of a network pulling it at will.

There. I've just run a network in four paragraphs better than ABC has in one year.

The season/series finale of Trophy Wife airs this Tuesday May 13 at 8:30c/9:30e.