Let's fuckin' do it...
100. It's okay to blog even if you only have one person that literally follows your blog. Cause sometimes other people read it. And strangers.
99. Urineface is not an acceptable word.
98. I'm always unsatisfied with Paranormal Activity movies no matter how much I liked them.
97. PLOTHOLES.
96. DANCEFIGHT!
95. Bud Light Platinum was a thing I was excited about and subsequently disappointed by, similar to my relationship with my father. Too soon?
94. Paula Deen cums butter.
93. The Woman in Black was pretty to look at but ultimately disappointing; similar to my last boyfriend. Too late?
92. Bitches masturbate.
91. Facebook sucks at ads.
90. I'm a terrible blogger.
89. Relationships are full of retarded bounds.
88. Dancin' Kim.
87. Have some manners, ya beast.
86. Virgin Mobile blows.
85. If you're not ready for a pet and you get a pet, you'll probably die.
84. Dr. Pepper 10 is the most misogynist beverage.
83. Cinco de Mayo only requires you to drink tequila and pretend to be Mexican.
82. DON'T JUDGE ME.
81. I'm a terrible blogger.
80. Keep your emotional Facebook status bullshit off my newsfeed.
79. Breaking up ain't the end of the world. And ain't ain't a word.
78. If you listen even a little bit, you can figure out what a woman wants for the gift-giving holidays.
77. The 90s were way fucking better than now. Eat it, milennials.
76. FUCK YOU, PEDIASURE!
75. Still a terrible blogger.
74. Some bitches don't blow they dudes. Also, I'm white.
73. I was wrong about Amanda Bynes.
72. My brainleaks are slightly terrifying.
71. Father's Day is the best day to take your mom out to lunch.
70. I admit I liked 50 Shades of Grey.
69. I admit I had the best marketing idea for 50 Shades of Grey. Idiots.
68. I remain the world's worst blogger.
67. Archer makes me hot.
66. How to Be Single is a blog entry I've been trying to figure out how to make into a video for a very long time.
65. 3D movies are better when there's no reason for them to be 3D.
64-60. People who want Miley Cyrus to still be Hannah Montana piss me off.
59. Faking happiness through Facebook is not happiness.
58. Faking happiness through Instagram is not happiness either.
57. Faking happiness in general is not happiness.
56. I've met a lot of celebrities... and I forgot about a lot of them.. because I have the memory of a goldfish.
55. Adding "the fuck?!" after each sentence does not make the funniest entry on your blog.
54. There is a right way and a very very wrong way to use your cell phone in public.
53. Seriously. I'm not a good blogger.
52. PMS always makes for a fun rant.
51. Facebook needs to stop trying to make me feel bad about stuff.
50. I've only had ten entries in 2013.
49. Told you I was a terrible blogger.
48. PerezHilton is a dipshit.
47. Kim Kardashian is a dipshit.
46. I take back whatever I said about Amanda Bynes and I wish her the best.
45. Black cherry rum gets you druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunk.
44. ...and you subsequently forget to blog.
43. Put down the botox, bitches.
42. Miley Cyrus is not a racist.
41. People who ragged on Miley and not on Robin Thicke post-VMAs are either ignorantly or intentionally misogynistic.
40. Gayz R kEwL.
39. I have A LOT of fucking pet peeves.
38. Dave Foley is lovely.
37. Greg Proops is lovely.
36. Greg Proops has a podcast that I cannot get enough of. Of which I cannot get enough.
35. Whose Live is the T1TZ.
34. Those cool gays can get married in Illinois now. YAY!
33. Fireball whiskey, amirite?
32. "Jessy" will never be a variation on the spelling of my name.
31-2. I'm a terrible blogger. And lazy.
1. IHAVEAYOUTUBECHANNELYOUSHOULDCHECKOUT.
SEE? I MADE IT REAL EASY FOR YAS. GO HERE. DO IT.
Here's to 100 more over the course of the next two years...
No comments:
Post a Comment