Hi, Facebook. How are you? Great, me too. I know we talk regularly and all, but I wanted to address you more formally about something that's been bothering me lately.
Lately, you've been pissing me off. I'm only saying this so bluntly because I'm your friend. I come hang out with you on the daily to catch up and to have a few laughs. But over the past month or so I've been noticing a lot of your friends want me to "like" emaciated children and adults, abused dogs, abused children, people with cancer, people who've survived cancer, people who've heard of cancer, abused circus animals, abused farm animals, bullied fat girls, bullied skinny girls, Justin Bieber, Mitt Romney and all kinds of other garbage.
LISTEN. My "like"-ing of the aforementioned things does not equal a prayer, a dollar, a penny, a quarter, a vote, a voice, a life saved. It equals other people can see it now. Nothing more.
I will, however, "like" anything you show me that's in hilarious poor taste, hilarious good taste, mockery of Mitt Romney and/or Justin Bieber, cute animals, funny people, cute clothes, cute dudes, cute chicks and anything DailyGrace has to say.
In summation, I want my laughs, not to constantly be traumatized by your sadistic need to show me graphic images.
Thanks for understanding, you prick.
Kisses,
Shface, Je
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